I Love Musicals and Hate Good Byes:

Sometimes, a performance goes well, and you can just tell. Tonight was definitely one of those. Good times, good times.

Unfortunately, it makes thinking about tomorrow that much harder. I gotta focus on the positive so that tomorrow's show isn't bogged down by sadness from everybody.

It's going to be great tomorrow. I can tell. I hope.

Summer Job:

Oh, gee... I start my first job tomorrow. I wonder if I should be more worried about this. It’s funny, but what bothers me most is that it will be the first of a long, long series of jobs, from now until – I don’t know – I die or something. These are my last few moments of total freedom.

I guess it’s just always made me sad that life works so that everyone’s looking out for themselves and no one is really happy. I needed to do well in elementary school so I could get into the arts magnet middle school so I could get into this good high school so I can go to a prestigious college so I can attend a prominent grad school so that I can get a good job so I can support myself.

But I can support myself with a mediocre job, or maybe I’d find something I want to do with my life (acting, photography, art. I don’t even know), not something I have to do (get good grades, make good money). It’s the difference between what I could do and what I am expected to do, I guess. I was told I had to get a job this summer, so I found a job, right?

I mean, yes, cool. I will have more money to spend and it will look good on a college application, saying that I worked for the Feds over the summer. But shouldn’t I try to enjoy the last bit of childhood I have left? In a year from now, I won’t really have the option. I’ll be off to college. I’ll have to get a job, since there’s no way my parents will support me while I’m off learning.

Hm. Too late now. Despite all this, I won’t regret working for the whole summer.

I think.

Flowers:

I hate the bees and the heat and the long hours of daylight, but I do love the scenery that summer brings:

So Tired...

Hah. Not sleeping for thirty-something hours? Man, I'm smart.

Thought Dump:

I went to a formal dinner (sort of) today (or yesterday, actually, I guess). It’s nice to see my friends all schnazzied-up every once and a while. Some of them seem to enjoy it a bit much, though. In a fashion typical of she who hosted the party, we were made to give toasts, and because I had no idea what to say, I made up a limerick for one and shared the other with my brother.

It was the eighth performance of Grease tonight. We’re getting better every time, which is exciting. Even Saturday nights don’t faze us now. This may well be the most fun I’ve ever had doing a show. The people are nice, the music is fun. I’ll be sad next week when it’s over.

I have to get finger-printed on Monday for my new job. Apparently it’s some sort of regulation if you’re going to work for the federal government. Sigh. Now I can never achieve my lifelong ambition of having a life of crime. It’s so sad.

I like Oregon summer weather:

And now it's almost 5 AM. Perhaps I'll want to sleep soon, especially with another performance tomorrow.

Insomnia.

I really should learn to regulate my sleep-schedule.

End of the Year Blues.

Wow. The last day of school is tomorrow (or, to be more accurate, today). How did that happen? It doesn't feel that long ago that I was voted in as director or Science Bowl happened or we performed the play or I met all the new freshmen. Alas, the year is over, but I'm 14 hours away from being a senior, which is cool.

Ugh...Why are my grades being decided on the last day of class? I have A's. Can't I just leave them like that? These tests will jeopardize my lovely four-point this year. It's already past one in the morning. I'm all studied-out. At least, in 14 hours from now, it'll all be over, one way or another.

And I really hate Chemistry right now.

I Want My Headphones.

I am unhappy. You know how sometimes you just want somebody to give you a hug and tell you to stop worrying, that everything's fine?

...Yeah. I'd like that.
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On an unrelated, yet incredibly irritating note, I left my headphones at rehearsal. And I won't be back there till Friday. Man. That sucks.
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Edit [1:12 AM]: It's very hard to listen to music in a house full of sleeping people when ones has no headphones. So sad, so sad.
Eh, I guess I should be sleeping now, anyway.

And Away We Went.

That...was fun.


1 down, 1o to go.

And Away We Go...

Opening night tonight.

Oh god, oh god.

More later.

I Am Lazy.

Man. I did nothing today. I mean, absolutely nothing. It was pretty weird. I went to Beaverton, but with no seniors left, I didn’t have IB Euro. So I went to SST, where I proceeded to hang out in the lowers’ Econ class for two hours. Then, the next period, I didn’t have any work to do as teacher’s aide, so I kept sitting around while the lowers did Econ. Then was lunch. Then I spent AP Chem sleeping (oops).

Crazy day (and by crazy, I mean really boring).

At least I have rehearsal later. =) That’ll be exciting. It usually is.

...Just 363 days to go.

Disillusionment.

I hate disillusionment. Every time I find myself in a situation that makes me happy, something comes along and the goodness just sort of rots away.

Maybe I should just start spending more time by myself.

Bye Bye.

So, seniors graduate tomorrow.

That...sucks. Kinda. For me, not for them. (Heh.)

Good luck with life, everybody.